Marcus Gheeraerts the Younger, Public domain, via Wikimedia CommonsWhen we think of the Tudors, what usually comes to mind are royal dramas, executions, and strict social hierarchies, not the warm image of attentive parenting. But while it’s true that Tudor society was deeply hierarchical and rigid, not every idea about child-rearing was harsh or outdated. In fact, some Tudor parenting practices were surprisingly forward-thinking, even by modern standards.
Here are several ways Tudor families, especially those outside the aristocracy, were more progressive in their parenting than they’re often given credit for.
1. Emphasising early learning at home
Education wasn’t universally accessible in Tudor England, but many families, even working-class ones, taught children basic skills at home from a young age. Reading, writing, and religious instruction often started early, especially for boys. While formal schooling was limited and largely reserved for the wealthy, the idea of fostering a child’s intellectual development at home was commonplace.
Some middle-class families invested in hornbooks, wooden paddles covered with printed lessons and protected by a layer of transparent horn. They were used to teach children the alphabet, numbers, and prayers. This early focus on literacy shows a value placed on intellectual growth long before state-run schooling systems existed.
2. Valuing play as part of childhood
It might be tempting to assume that Tudor children were miniature adults expected to work and behave like their parents, and to an extent, this was true. However, there’s evidence that Tudor society recognised the importance of play. Archaeological finds have unearthed wooden dolls, toy swords, hobby horses, and spinning tops from the era. These weren’t just for the elite. They’ve been found at sites linked to ordinary households too.
Play was understood to be a part of growing up. It helped children develop physical coordination and imagination, even if adults didn’t always view it in the same developmental terms we use today. As it turns out, objects from the Tudor period show a surprising amount of attention to children’s play and domestic life.
3. Breastfeeding and maternal bonding
In wealthier Tudor households, it was common to hire wet nurses, but among the working and lower-middle classes, breastfeeding was the norm. Women nursed their own children and often did so for extended periods. This practice had health benefits and allowed for a closer bond between mother and child.
At a time when infant mortality was tragically high, the continuation of breastfeeding beyond infancy reflected a practical and intuitive understanding of early child health. Today we recognise the importance of breastfeeding for immunity and attachment—something Tudor mothers, in their own way, already practised.
4. Respecting children’s capacity to contribute
While we wouldn’t condone child labour by modern standards, it’s worth noting that Tudor parents often trusted their children with real responsibilities from an early age. Children helped with cooking, farming, and household chores, not as punishment, but as part of being useful and involved. This gave children a sense of purpose and belonging.
The idea that children could and should contribute to family life aligns with some modern approaches to parenting that promote age-appropriate independence and responsibility. Rather than being entirely sheltered, Tudor children were gradually introduced to the adult world in ways that often matched their abilities.
5. Some progressive views on education for girls
Education for girls in Tudor England was certainly limited compared to boys, but there were some important exceptions. Among middle and upper-class families, especially those influenced by humanist thinking, there was a growing belief that girls should be educated too. Girls like Elizabeth I, who was tutored extensively, and Margaret Roper, the daughter of Thomas More, received classical educations and were praised for their intellect.
Humanist scholars such as Juan Luis Vives advocated for the education of women, including in his book The Education of a Christian Woman, which was influential in the Tudor court. The Historical Association explores how female literacy rose in the Tudor period, suggesting a change, however slow, in how girls’ intellectual potential was viewed.
6. Using moral rather than physical discipline (sometimes)
Tudor discipline is often associated with harsh punishments, and yes, the rod was certainly not spared in many households. But there’s evidence that not all parents relied solely on physical discipline. Written advice for parents from the period includes appeals to reason, shame, and moral instruction.
The Book of Nurture, a widely circulated guide, encouraged teaching children right from wrong using example and moral persuasion. While corporal punishment was still common, the presence of alternative guidance suggests that at least some Tudor parents were thinking beyond the whip, perhaps because advice literature encouraged moral and religious instruction over violence in some homes.
7. Protecting childhood innocence
Tudor religious culture emphasised sin and salvation from a very young age, but it also acknowledged childhood as a unique phase of life. Children were baptised soon after birth, not only for theological reasons but also to mark their special status in the community.
Church records and sermons from the time reveal how clergy often spoke of children as innocent souls needing guidance, not just as sinners-in-waiting. This framing, while still rooted in religious thinking, reflected a kind of moral protection around childhood that foreshadowed later ideas about child development.
8. Providing apprenticeships and structured learning
Apprenticeships weren’t just a way to offload teenagers. They were a formalised method of transitioning children into adult roles, particularly for boys. Parents arranged for children to learn trades, often in different towns or cities, with the expectation that they would return skilled and capable.
This system, while strict, provided structure, mentorship, and education in practical skills. In many ways, it served the function of modern vocational training, and it reflected a wider cultural investment in helping children become capable and self-reliant adults.
9. Caring for children’s spiritual lives
Tudor parents were deeply concerned with their children’s souls, and while that might seem heavy-handed today, it showed a sincere investment in their wellbeing. Children were taught prayers, expected to attend church, and given moral instruction as part of everyday life.
This spiritual guidance wasn’t just about fear of damnation. It often included comfort during illness or hardship and a sense of purpose in a world where life was unpredictable. The emotional and existential support given through religion, while rigid by modern standards, played a stabilising role in Tudor childhoods.
10. Valuing family closeness, even in tough conditions
Life in Tudor England could be precarious, and family units were vital sources of support and survival. While modern ideas about parenting didn’t yet exist, the emotional bonds between parents and children were still strong. Letters, wills, and diaries from the period show real affection. Parents expressed worry over sick children, grief at loss, and pride in achievement.
There’s a tendency to assume that people in the past were emotionally detached, especially given the high child mortality rate. But surviving personal documents challenge that idea. As historian Linda Pollock has argued in her work on early modern parenting, many Tudor families felt and showed deep care for their children in ways that feel very familiar today.
Tudor parenting wasn’t perfect, and by today’s standards, much of it could be considered stern or even cruel. But it wasn’t devoid of affection, thoughtfulness, or progress. From encouraging literacy to recognising childhood as a distinct phase of life, some Tudor parenting practices were more forward-looking than we often assume. They laid early groundwork for ideas about child development, education, and emotional care that would continue to evolve for centuries.
